Although online dating has forever changed the dating world in general, it has become truly revolutionary for the gay community. In fact, according to research from Stanford University, 65% of gay couples met online, in contrast with only 39% of heterosexual couples. And it’s easy to see why gay online dating is such a massive deal for homosexual guys who are looking for love. No longer is there a need to rely solely on your gaydar and experience the anxiety circling around whether that hot stranger is into you or not.
Before you read our gay dating tips, make sure you know exactly what you’re looking for. Are you looking for a good time or something potentially serious? Do you want a hook-up, a friends-with-benefits kinda sitch or a long-term boyfriend? These kinds of decisions can help you tailor your gay dating experience.
Without further ado, then, let’s delve into the 5 most important things you need to know about gay online dating.
1) Find the right gay dating app
Before you invest time and effort into looking for a partner, you first need to find the app or site that actually works for you.
The most effective and efficient way to judge whether a dating app’s going to be great at helping you find love is to read its reviews. Read the experiences of those who have been in your shoes and know the score when it comes to each app. Their words and opinions will be far more accurate and honest than those of the companies themselves!
You also need to account for such factors as:
- Ease of use
- Price (if relevant)
After all, you’re potentially going to be spending a lot of time on there!
It’s also definitely worth considering paying for membership on an app. A premium platform brings with it a greater guarantee of safety. Paid gay online dating sites are generally more honest in their services and scams are far rarer. Furthermore, you know that other users are taking things more seriously if they’re willing to pay. This is especially applicable if you’re using the app in the quest for a long-term relationship.
2) Invest time and effort in your profile
There’s no beating around the bush: competition can be fierce online. You need an attractive profile to get in the game. Granted, many gay online dating sites have lengthy and time-consuming questionnaires you’re required to fill out before you can message other users, but at the end of the day it’s the strength of your profile that’s going to make or break your success. There are a lot of other gays out there looking for love. You need to stand out.
To start with, you need to cover the basics. Ensure that your profile clearly communicates that you’re:
- Not a scammer or even a potential attacker
- Looking for a relationship
Spend some time writing your bio. You’ll invariably end up editing it a fair bit. Try to keep things personable, down-to-earth and to-the-point. No-one’s here to read an essay. Inject some humour if possible. Guys want to meet guys who can make them laugh.
When it comes to more sensitive information, it’s entirely your prerogative whether you reveal such details as whether you’re top or bottom. Just know that, whilst it’s good to exclude guys who aren’t interested in you early on, you also don’t want to push away potentially amazing people by seeming like you’re a little obsessed with divulging your life story from the get-go.
3) Choose your photos wisely
Like it or not, people will look at your profile only if your main photo is enticing, interesting and attractive. There is no greater factor in being rejected than a bad photo. If you don’t have one you consider suitable, take a high-quality (non-posy!) selfie or ask a friend to do a photo session for you. If you want to find someone for a serious relationship, an explicit pic is probably not the way to go.
4) Don’t be afraid to text first
You came to this app in order to find a partner, so don’t sit on your laurels waiting for messages to come flooding in like you’re above the game!
Look for patterns in those messages that worked and those that didn’t. More importantly, don’t be afraid of seeming too eager — you’re on a site of which the sole purpose is to communicate with strangers and progress the dynamic until such a time as it can be moved offline. By texting guys first, you increase your own chances of finding a truly great match.
5) Work on your messaging technique
It can seem like a bit of a minefield at first when you have that blank conversation opened up and staring back at you, awaiting messages of flirtation, banter and intrigue. But don’t overthink things. Keep it light and conversational and get to the point soon. Remember, you’re here to find a date, not a pen pal, so try to organise a rendezvous sooner rather than later.
Reply fairly quickly. Don’t play hard-to-get by indulging in periods of radio silence. Show you’re interested in him and maintain a tone of interest and excitement. Keep in mind that attraction promotes attraction! Responding fast and responding with vim will motivate this new hottie to get back to you ASAP, too.
Sometimes you’ll feel the need to cease communication. Perhaps you’re just not attracted to them, or they acted weirdly. It’s important to stay kind — everyone here deserves respect unless they’ve acted particularly egregiously. Don’t just ghost. Consider a short message explaining that your circumstances have changed and you don’t wish to continue the dialogue, but wish him well and keep things civil.
The man of your dreams could be just a swipe away!
Gay online dating takes time. Every new person you meet on there is a complete and utter stranger. There’s no context or history between the two of you. You don’t know their background, their past, their intentions. Some guys might be seeking only short-term, casual relationships. They might even be on the app out of sheer boredom. And that’s fine, that’s their prerogative — but your time is a precious commodity. Hooking up can be quite fun, but it probably won’t satisfy you on a deeper, more emotional level.
This being said, there are many reasons why gay online dating is an amazing and effective way to meet new people. You can peruse a guy’s profile before meeting up in order to judge whether you think you’ll have common ground or certain shared values. You can talk to multiple guys at the same time, which ultimately is a more efficient way of dating! What’s more, if you find the right platform then you know you’ll be safe and meeting only guys who are gay and have similar intentions to you.
Not everybody finds success online — that’s just the way it goes. Even if you find some really fantastic guys to spend time with, there’s no guarantee you’ll find your soulmate, your Mr. Right, the love of your life.
Be patient; don’t be afraid of cutting your losses and moving on if things just don’t seem to be moving forward. And, of course, stay positive. There are some truly wonderful guys out there using gay online dating — and, by setting up a profile and following Dating Smartz’s 5 top tips, you’re in with a far greater chance of meeting them. (And of them meeting you, the lucky lads!)