The modern dating space is oftentimes impossible to navigate. It can be fickle, contradictory and filled with mind games. It doesn’t matter how experienced you are when it comes to dating, impressing the person you are going on a date with has become increasingly difficult over the last five years.
Modern-day dating apps and online dating technologies have given people the burden of too much choice. There will always be somebody else to swipe right to – somebody more attractive, more intelligent and more successful. This means that the window of time people have to impress during their date is getting smaller and smaller, and more and more difficult to exercise power over. Now, don’t get us wrong, being your true authentic self on a date is important. There is no point in trying to be somebody else on a date in order to appear a ‘better’ person than who you already are – you are perfect.
That being said, it’s always useful to keep in mind certain ways to impress your date – especially the first time around. These aren’t necessarily actions that will make your date stop in their tracks and propose to you without so much as a hesitation. However – they are ways to present yourself as intriguing, respectful and empowered. Here they are:
Being desperate to impress during a date can lead to people bragging about their accomplishments and circumstances. Of course, share a bit about who you are, what you do, and what you’re proud of. But don’t overdo it. This only gives off the impression that you have little self-awareness or modesty.
Instead, focus on your date’s accomplishments and think of ways to organically steer the conversation back to yours – this way both members of the date share the chance to impress equally.
Ask Meaningful Questions
There is nothing worse than awkward ice-breaker questions that have little depth or personality. Not only do these questions show a lack of conversational creativity, they also make people appear insincere and disinterested. Instead of asking your date where their family vacations every summer, or whether or not they got stuck in the abysmal traffic on their way, ask them more questions about their passions and deepest fears. You will be amazed by how this form of conversations connects people. You can even check out this infographic we put together with 10 questions you can ask. Don’t thank us – just use them!
Pay For Yourself
Paying for yourself on a date, no matter your gender, is a perfect way to show that you are an independent and self-sufficient human being. There are several benefits to going dutch on a date. The main benefit is related to the idea that money is power.
Adding the politics of money to a date can be complicated and problematic. If one half of the date pays for the entire meal (or drinks, or both) they automatically hold a degree of power over the other person. By splitting the bill – or doing rounds if it’s a drinks date – equalises the power level between you and your date.
Be Respectful to Those Around You
This is an extremely important one. Being respectful and charismatic with those around you on a date (bartenders, waiters, members of the public) is a highly attractive quality. Not only does it show your the kind of person you are – a courteous and charming one – it also creates an aura of calm and confidence around you, making your date feel at ease to be in your presence.
Leave a Bit of Mystery
There’s nothing better than leaving behind a little mystique. Basically – do not reveal everything too soon. Although you want the conversation to flow and be meaningful, you don’t want the best to be over too quickly. Of course, being mysterious is not about playing mind games or playing hard to get. It’s about being yourself, but holding back the juicy details about yourself before the relationship goes on to the next stage.
Now you’re ready – go forth and Dating Smartz!